


epilogue 01

by doubleknot



Series: Hello, Strange Place [6]
Category: CIX (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21679858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doubleknot/pseuds/doubleknot
Summary: it can't be true. it couldn't be true. it shouldn't be true.
Series: Hello, Strange Place [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1541959
Kudos: 19





	epilogue 01

**Author's Note:**

> please tread lightly as you read this as this does deal with the aftermath of someone's suicide attempt. if you or anyone you know is dealing with suicidal thoughts please don't be afraid to reach out for help. you are never alone.
> 
> [12/28: haha i finally got around to rewriting this!!]

something's off. jinyoung can feel it. the halls are bare, no teens playfully race after each other down the hallway, and the classes are silent, no one is clumped together and gossiping about their weekends. it's odd and very unlike how the teen is use to seeing the school in the morning. the building is usually thriving with life but that doesn't seem to be the case this morning. 

the teen doesn't question it at first. he was far too tired to mull over the odd behavior of everyone else in the school. like always, he just wanted to get to his homeroom and sneak in a quick nap before the day started. and that's definitely what the dark haired boy had intended to do. it wasn't until he had gotten into his quiet little classroom that he finally decided to take notice in just how strange everyone was acting. 

no one was crowded around each other's desks to gossip, no one was huddled beside the windows to rant about classes, and no one was sitting atop of the cubbies to make plans for the afternoon. everyone was just sat at their desks with their heads hung low. it seemed like everyone was upset or maybe even ashamed. ashamed of what though, jinyoung didn't know. dark eyes bounce around the room in an attempt to find out what was going on.

many of the students had tears in their red-rimmed eyes while some already had tear tracks left behind on puffy cheeks. the only sounds that filled the room was the occasional sniffle or whimper. jinyoung couldn't have been more confused as he looked around at everyone. his curiosity quickly turns to dread whenever he finds that there's only one person who wasn't in class; two rows over and a desk back, kim yonghee's seat is empty and untouched. turning to the closest person, jinyoung's tongue decides to work faster than his brain. 

"excuse me but...what the hell is going on?"

the question must surprise the girl that's sat beside him if the way that she jumps is anything to go by. she meets jinyoung's curious gaze with wide, teary eyes. his confusion must be obvious because a sad frown quickly etches over her features. her eyes dart around the room before she leans in and lowers her head; jinyoung, blatantly confused, leans in as well. her voice is low and wavering as she utters the words that he had never expected to hear.

"didn't you hear...yonghee tried to kill himself."

jinyoung jerks away from her like she had physically harmed him with that one sentence. it's like a slap to the face honestly. "no," he rasps, shaking his head at her in disbelief. she's lying. she has to be. "they say he jumped off the school roof," she whispers softly like she was just stating the weather for the day. 

his chair screeches as it drags along the floor when he jumps out of his seat. "jinyoung," the girl calls out to him but he's already moving. everyone's judging looks and cries of surprise go ignored as the teen darts out of the room. he must look crazy running down the halls like he's being chased after but jinyoung can't find it in himself to care. the roof, he needs to get to the roof.

_ "didn't you hear-" _

the sound of his feet meeting hard, concrete steps bounce off the stone walls of the stairwell. the farther he gets, the louder her words ring in his ears. 

_ "-yonghee-" _

tears prick at his eyes as he keeps going. he can't seem to run fast enough though.

_ "-tried to kill himself." _

it can't be true. it couldn't be true. it shouldn't be true.

the door that leads to the rooftop is unsurprisingly not locked. he throws it open and lets it fall shut on it's own. the fresh air burns as his chest heaves from his attempts to catch his breath. curious eyes roam over the vast, bare space of the roof before they land on the ledge that's just a tad taller than the rest of the roof. if he stares hard enough, he can almost perfectly envision the lost boy that had perched there last night in his last attempts to cry out for help.

the thought makes his stomach roll and his heart lurch painfully. oh god, he thinks he might get sick. jinyoung tries his hardest to shove these thoughts down before he makes his way over to the ledge. there, alone and unbothered, he finds an all too familiar watch beside a cellphone. the teen squats down and grabs the watch with gentle fingers as if the watch was as fragile as the owner. 

a sob slips past the teen's lips as he rolls his thumb over the glass face of the watch. he had tried to help, he really did. jinyoung knows he probably hadn't gone about the situation in the best way but he had hoped that his attempt to stop yonghee from killing himself was helpful in one way or another. he had hoped that it would show the boy that someone cared enough to want him alive. maybe, he thinks and believes, he should have tried harder. 

he should, and could, have tried harder for yonghee. 

but now he had nothing to try harder for. he no longer was able to try and prove to the other that someone cared, that someone thought he mattered, that someone saw he was struggling and wanted to help. 

the thought makes jinyoung cry harder as he clutched the watch to his chest. sobs and whimpers tremble through his body; his shoulders shake and his chest shudders harshly with his cries. 

he could have tried harder but he didn't and for that he was truly sorry to yonghee. 


End file.
